September 23, 2015 Leave a comment

Dear Matzo Ball Faithful:

The musical score is nearly finished and the creative team is moving on to the next phase of the production. I couldn’t be more excited and the following is the information provided on the As the Matzo Ball Turns ~ The Musical website at on the Casting Notice page.

*** The first round of auditions for As the Matzo Ball Turns ~ The Musical will be held on Sunday, October 18th, 2015 at DeMelfi School of Music, 711 S. Church Street, Suite 200, Hazelton, PA 18201. Those auditioning are expected to bring sheet music for one song they believe showcases their vocal range and ability. A piano accompaniment will be provided and under special circumstances a karaoke style CD will be permitted. Please submit as detailed at the top of this page. An audition time will be provided upon inquiry. Thank you!!!!

If you are a performer living in the NE Pennsylvania and/or the surrounding tri-state area and are interested in getting in on the ground floor of an exciting, new musical throw caution to the wind, warm up your vocal chords and try out. You never know!!!!

Best of luck to all those taking part in the auditions! Broadway or bust!!!!!


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BIG NEWS!!! You can watch producer Gene Duffy’s live interview with Doc Layne Roberts on Wednesday, April 1 (April Fools Day) starting at around 10:30 am. Gene will be talking about the musical and God knows what else but it is sure to be entertaining!!! Thank you for listening and if you haven’t pitched in to the As the Matzo Ball Turns ~ The Musical  Kickstarter campaign please do so!!!!  Thanks again!!!!!



Click here to Watch!

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Dear Lovers of the Doughy White Balls:

A Kickstarter video has just launched for what is turning out to be an amazing journey for a book that is now turning into Broadway type musical! So stop sitting there with your jaw open wondering what is this idiot is up to now and please check out the page and donate.

When a band releases a new album they support it with a tour. I guess when I write a book it gets promoted with an all out hilarious comedy romp in the form of a musical. Well, there are worse things in life.

In all seriousness, the production team is going to bring you an awesome show but they need your help in getting this thing off the ground. Here is the link.

There are many cool rewards for your contribution including advanced tickets to shows, signed copies of the book and other cool mementos that will forever remind you of the help you provided in turning this musical into the next Broadway hit! So please donate!!!!

I greatly appreciate your contribution and for spreading the word about this awesome project!

Bailing on the Peace Train for now. Later peeps.



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February 17, 2015 Leave a comment

Here is a sneak peak at the beautiful and talented Sarah Clayton who stopped by a couple of weeks ago to help us out with the promotion of As the Matzo Ball Turns ~ The Musical. Video and Kickstarter project coming soon!!! Stay tuned.




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Dear Matzo Ball Fanatics:

Due to the popularity of my last book signing at the Penn Kidder Library OR the fact that someone in the office accidentally invited me again (probably the latter) I will be making a rare appearance on Saturday August 30, 2014 from 10am to 12 noon.

Come support the new and improved library and also pick up an autographed copy of the book that made this one lady laugh once. And that lady just so happened to be my mother. So what of it?

A portion of the proceeds will go towards the new facility. The Grand Opening is being held in the Pine Point Plaza, commonly known as Hazel Park, at the intersection of Rt. 903 and Rt. 534 in Albrightsville.

So put your ice buckets down for five minutes and come join in on the fun!!!! Hope to see you there!!!!!!


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Come on, man. This ain't funny no more. My leg is falling off.

Dude. Ever hear of a sponge bath?
Waaaagghh! Jane, stop this crazy thing!!!!
Hey man! Wtf?


Hey Y’all:

For those of you who had the tenacity and/or high pain tolerance to make it to the final chapter of As the Matzo Ball Turns you may recall my beloved rescue dog Charlie the Australian Cattle Dog and his travel companion and makeshift airbag Chet the Giant Stuffed Monkey. Well, six years have elapsed since our infamous cross country trek that had one journey ending (as well as a book) while another began.

Anyway you look at it, Chet had collected a huge amount of dirt in his snow white fur and was long overdue for a spin in the washing machine along with a nice tumble in an industrial dryer. Remember a clean monkey is a happy monkey!!! Check out the action shots from the local Laundromat that had Charlie taking quite a few whiffs of his now, hygienically compliant friend.

Folks it doesn’t get any more exciting than this. Enjoy!!!!!


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April 8, 2014 1 comment

Congrats to these very bright students!!!!!

Good times with a great date!!!!
Action shot of me receiving the Maroon and Gold Quill Award!!
Let’s take a pic! Is this guy signing my book or writing his next novel?
Great Music too. First Class All The Way.
Yum. Matzo Ball Soup!!!

To all the fabulous people involved with FOBULA:

Friday April 4, 2014 is a night I will always cherish. It started with a warm reception from the members of the Friends of the Bloomsburg University Library Association the minute my guest Lisa and I arrived and from there the surprises kept coming. While new friendships were being made and wonderful conversations were taking place, two orchestral players, who drove down from Rochester, New York for the event, created a quaint atmosphere inside the lovely Alumni House on campus.

When dinner began I could not believe my eyes … Matzo Ball soup. The eats were amazing and the thoughtfulness involved to include Matzo Ball soup on the menu just blew me away. Members of FOBULA then spoke after specially made cupcakes were passed around for all to nosh on. The speakers were entertaining and very passionate about their respective fields and involvement in the Association. Several students also received awards and financial assistance from the organization.

One of the members, Jim Huber, gave me a warm introduction as the guest speaker for the evening. I forgot to ask him if he’d like to become VP of sales and marketing for As the Matzo Ball Turns. He pitched me and the book better than I ever could have or maybe even more than was deserved.

I felt a real connection to the audience and was very flattered and challenged by the questions that came after the presentation. Then the biggest surprise of all … my first official writing award … The Maroon and Gold Quill Award. I am honored to be in the company of all those before me and all those to follow especially since I was chosen by an amazing group of scholars and individuals. Thank you once again FOBULA!!!!

A book signing took place at the end of the evening which gave me one last opportunity to chit chat with those who hung around to get a personalized copy of the vehicle that has created more great opportunities in my life than anything to date … As the Matzo Ball Turns.

I have included some pictures from the event for your enjoyment. As always, thank you for your interest and support!!!!



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March 23, 2014 2 comments

Hear ye hear ye:

After a long hibernation this winter I have emerged from my man cave to bring you this very exciting announcement. On Friday, April 4th, 2014 I will be the guest speaker at The Bloomsburg Univeristy Friends of the Library event.

Each year the committee selects a Pennsylvania author to speak at their annual event and this spring the man without a plan has been chosen for this prestigious honor. It’s hard to say exactly what will come out of my mouth as I am sure I will even surprise myself but I am looking forward to addressing the distinguished members of this generous and charitable organization nonetheless.

I’ve had the priviledge of communicating with a few of the members via telephone and email and quite honestly I may be in a little over my head on this one. I’ll most certainly be the dimmest bulb in the room. But as I like to say, “You can learn a lot from a dummy,” and hopefully the esteemed guests attending the event feel the same way, or at least throw back enough coffee to stay awake during the presentation.

If you are attending the event I look forward to meeting you there. I will be selling copies of As the Matzo Ball Turns with a portion of the proceeds going towards the library.

Thank you again and I look forward to seeing you on the 4th.


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Let’s say a law is passed that makes it mandatory for everyone to buy my book “As the Matzo Ball Turns.” You can purchase it from Amazon, Barnes and Noble etc. for slightly different prices and receive it via different delivery methods but you must buy it nonetheless. What is to stop me from raising the price of the book? What if I raise the price to $250 but you think you are getting it for three dollars because you don’t see the hidden costs (taxes) you are paying when you shell out more to go see a movie, rent a DVD, go bowling, buy a tangerine etc. Now maybe in the goodness of my heart I truly want to keep my price at $18.95 but part of the law states that I can only use Pelosi Publishing to print the book. (But we have to pass the bill first so we know what’s in it.) The costs at this particular publishing house do not allow me to keep my book priced at $18.95 because of the ridiculous charge for the publishing services. Who is going to absorb that cost? Yeah, that’s right, you the dupe. Now let’s also say this mandatory law to buy my book includes any future spinoffs that I write. What incentive do I have to write the next great American novel? Ah, you guessed it, none at all.

Okay, now that this law is in effect we need people to read the book, understand it and familiarize themselves with the pitch line so they can explain it to others and tell everyone in America where and how they can get it. Then we need people to take orders, mail out literature on the new law concerning my book, we need people in payroll, we need accountants to keep track of costs, we need a department (The Department of the Matzo Balls) to make sure the program is running effectively and that people have a place to complain about the bluntness of the humor etc. Then we need boots on the ground enforcing the new law to make sure everyone in America owns a copy of As the Matzo Ball Turns. This same team must use fear and intimidation to coerce people into buying my book because maybe there are just some people out there who could give a rats ass about the inner machinations of Hollywood and the restaurant business and will only buy it if there is a steep fine attached for failing to do so.

Now, let’s also say that As the Matzo Ball Turns becomes an overnight success and everybody wants a copy yesterday. And in the midst of this feeding frenzy there are some who’s very lives may be saved from reading this book. But, demand is too high in relation to the supply. Who gets the book first? Who chooses?

And speaking of political favors, what if I have a creative difference with the law maker responsible for this new law. Now, suddenly he wants someone who will write about his days as a Congressman before and after he got caught sending pictures of his private parts to young girls. He wants someone to capture his story and decides to bring in his cousin Spanky who knows him better than anyone. Soon only Spanky’s books will be purchased because other writers will not be able to entice us to buy their products due to the rising costs we are forced to pay for Spanky’s books.

Isn’t it better for everybody when we chose which books we want to buy and how much we are willing to pay for them? Although in the case of As the Matzo Ball Turns this should be mandatory reading for anyone who dines out in public or has hidden aspirations for a life of fame and fortune in film and television. But I would fight to the death for you to have the right to choose to buy it over being forced to purchase it. That’s what makes me a true American!


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